Fear

Happiness is worrisome.

You live not knowing when or if it will be stolen from you.

When you feel the happiest, there is also this kind of fear. The scary thought of losing it. And you start thinking: “I had been happy for so long now” 

It seems so strange that you feel something wrong may suddenly happen and, then, that same thing laughing at you: “What did you expect? You knew that I would come back; you mustn’t smile for a too long time”

But then, there is also another part of you. It whispers to not over-think, that everything is going to be fine, that you have to trust, that there comes no good in being projected in a not-so-probable future.

So, you tell yourself to believe and to smile, to stop thinking silly stuff and to live in the present.

Though, hidden in the most obscure part of your heart, you know that that fear is still there. Tamed, but not gone.

Waiting, in the dark, to strike again.

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The Raven

In the thick darkness she wandered alone. 

The veil of the night embraced the black, vast forest but she calmly walked through it.

Her red-pearl long dress was shining while gently moving in the world devoid of light.

A raven was singing his grief on a high leafless tree, then stopped, as she passed.

The woman looked up at him, a smile painting her face for the first time.

“Muninn” she called. “I came to take you with me”

The hrafn stayed still, his gaze piercing her left hand. His wings menaced to tremble, but his will kept them immobile.

“He didn’t have to do this” the woman talked again, looking at the black, little corpse at the bottom of the tree. “I’m giving you a choice”.

Muninn flew to her left shoulder, his claws pierced in her porcelain skin.

“You made the right decision” she said, smiling again.

She was about to move her feet again, when the raven stroke her blue eyes with his beak.

The woman screamed and tried to free herself, letting something fall from her hand. 

Muninn was implacable, though he was hurt. 

He, then, took off the whole eyeballs and ate them, while the blood streamed on his immaculate feathers.

She fell on the cold ground and the raven hit her till she stopped breathing.

Odin’s glassy open eyes were looking at him.

He was mortally wounded, but he didn’t care. 

Muninn was going to accept his destiny after his act of vengeance.

He, then, slowly walked toward his brother and lied down, closing his tired eyes.

———

This has nothing to do with the real Norse mythology; Odin was never killed by a woman in red dress, nor that happened to his ravens (Huginn and Muninn). It just… happened xD

Doubt

Walking with apparent security,

Stalling in uncertainty.

When the pillars that grow strong, like roots in the breathing meadow, shake, you find yourself wandering on a shattered floor.

This never-ending sensation keeps bothering the mind.

Trying to rationally reply to impossible riddles,

while you don’t even know the truth yourself.

When doubt arise, infiltrating your mind, it’s too late to look back at your past, unclouded self.

You must uncertainly walk till you find the answer.

Though the senses are obstructed and deceptive. 

Do not stop looking for it.

Surely, behind this thick fog, there is a new world waiting for you.

Memento

Take me away
Be my afterglow, my retrograde amnesia.

Let me fly on your wings and set me free.

I do not want to stay in this so hurtful city any longer. Every time I set my feet outside the door memories pushes me down.

Everything I lay my gaze on holds a memento in the framework of my life.

I won’t say that only negative tokens pervade the place I grew up in, because that would be a lie.

But what do you do when those aren’t enough to enlighten your smile?

You search for something more. 

You become greedy. 

Wanting true happiness in a world devoid of memories.

Cage

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You that know what I feel, please open the door of my prison.

Take the key and set me free, making me fly again

And in that way, I can come to you and then hold you

So, please, open your window tonight and wait for me.

If you use the key in your hands, I would definitely come

And would lightly call your name.

You would look at me with surprise and let me enter, while hugging me tightly.

It doesn’t matter what will happen, know that I’m here and will never forget you.

I love you

Falling

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Once upon a time there was a phoenix.

Her soul was hundreds years old though her appearance was young.

Her heart was in a long sleep, waiting for her other half.

And one day, this awaited miracle happened;

Her heart started to beat for the first time, as something was giving it life.

She found her soul mate in the eternity of time and space.

From that moment her heart flew from her body and went to his new home,

While she was living with her lover’s heart inside her.

It was such an indescribable experience: two souls so intensely linked.

She thought it was going to be forever; that the other half of her soul would have never left her.

She really believed in fighting for who you love and not wanting to lose that.

What a foolish thought she had.

What a childish mind despite her old soul.

Did she really think that her other half was going to fight for them?

Did she really think that there was someone who would have fought for her?

The stupid phoenix was now alone in her despair.

A heart missing, her half soul dead. A tired body and excruciating thoughts in her mind.

Defeated. Drained. Dead.

The flebile hope of her return is switching off.

If you would have known that love is so beautiful but is going to kill you too, would you have experienced it however, old Phoenix?

I would have. However. Always.

Suspense

Your ghostly hand is still tightly holding mine,

though you said there is no “us” anymore,

though you decided to give up fighting for us,

though you are not listening to my prayers.

I can feel them: your fingers intertwined with mine.

They are so delicate and so strong in the same time.

Oh, they feel so good in mine

The perfect match paired with me;

my only companion forever.

But ghosts can drive you crazy:

To exist, they absorb your life’s essence.

And you can’t send them away.

You just can’t, as they were part of the

most beautiful time of your life.

So, what do you do?

You linger in the memories with your ghosts,

also if by doing it you are giving up to your everything .

You don’t care.

You only dream that those ghosts can become reality again,

as you are still waiting.

My love, how many prayers should I say

before you come back to me?

My puppy, how many sleepless nights or nightmares should I live

before you come back to me?

My baby, how many days should I spend crying

before you come back to me?

My companion, how much should I still suffer

before you come back to me?

This life is not life anymore…

Will you ever come back to me?

Will you ever come and say “I’m back, I love you”?

Will you ever realize the love I hold for you?

Will you ever understand that there is nobody who can love you the way I do?

Will you ever grasp the reality?

We are for each other

How many questions without reply.

Do not wait till it’s too late.

Then, the only thing you will talk to would be a grave.