You live not knowing when or if it will be stolen from you.
When you feel the happiest, there is also this kind of fear. The scary thought of losing it. And you start thinking: “I had been happy for so long now”
It seems so strange that you feel something wrong may suddenly happen and, then, that same thing laughing at you: “What did you expect? You knew that I would come back; you mustn’t smile for a too long time”
But then, there is also another part of you. It whispers to not over-think, that everything is going to be fine, that you have to trust, that there comes no good in being projected in a not-so-probable future.
So, you tell yourself to believe and to smile, to stop thinking silly stuff and to live in the present.
Though, hidden in the most obscure part of your heart, you know that that fear is still there. Tamed, but not gone.
Waiting, in the dark, to strike again.