The Raven

In the thick darkness she wandered alone. 

The veil of the night embraced the black, vast forest but she calmly walked through it.

Her red-pearl long dress was shining while gently moving in the world devoid of light.

A raven was singing his grief on a high leafless tree, then stopped, as she passed.

The woman looked up at him, a smile painting her face for the first time.

“Muninn” she called. “I came to take you with me”

The hrafn stayed still, his gaze piercing her left hand. His wings menaced to tremble, but his will kept them immobile.

“He didn’t have to do this” the woman talked again, looking at the black, little corpse at the bottom of the tree. “I’m giving you a choice”.

Muninn flew to her left shoulder, his claws pierced in her porcelain skin.

“You made the right decision” she said, smiling again.

She was about to move her feet again, when the raven stroke her blue eyes with his beak.

The woman screamed and tried to free herself, letting something fall from her hand. 

Muninn was implacable, though he was hurt. 

He, then, took off the whole eyeballs and ate them, while the blood streamed on his immaculate feathers.

She fell on the cold ground and the raven hit her till she stopped breathing.

Odin’s glassy open eyes were looking at him.

He was mortally wounded, but he didn’t care. 

Muninn was going to accept his destiny after his act of vengeance.

He, then, slowly walked toward his brother and lied down, closing his tired eyes.

———

This has nothing to do with the real Norse mythology; Odin was never killed by a woman in red dress, nor that happened to his ravens (Huginn and Muninn). It just… happened xD

Defeat

A.S.= I wrote this in a dark period if my life and, though now I’m perfectly fine, I decided to post it. Everyone can overcome darkness, despair (in one word, depression). Though I was feeling so helpless I did it and so can you. Don’t give up! Never do it!
I still haven’t figured out what’s life about. 

You were born in this world. Young, inexperienced as you were, you thought it was a beautiful place to live your fairytale.

Colors, noises, faces and perfumes. 

You thought that everything would have been just happy.

What a 4 years old baby can know about problems?

Then, growing up, life shows its true identity: a black never ending ink continuously following you. 

Maybe it’s your shadow itself.

You think that life it’s like this and that it’s not fair for anyone. You try to think about people who have it worse than you and then guilt eats you up. You think that’s only a phase and that sun will rise again.

But no. 

It won’t make the obscurity end.

Because, you know, everytime I had had a problem big or small I faced it, alone. By choice. 

Yes, for years there was nobody for me. But I defeated every inch of darkness around people I love. 

I had no fear for anything.

I was strong.

I was bold. 

I was a warrior.

I was.

Because I realize that it doesn’t matter how much you try to run and run… for a moment of happiness I have to pay way too much despair and for an undefined time. 

I don’t really believe in karma. But if there is something like that, mine is really bad. I wonder what I could have done in my previous life to live in my 23 years of live already so much pain.

What’s worse it’s that’s not even victimisation: it’s the plain truth. Nobody knows our lives so nobody should judge or say “others have it worse than you”.

I get that other people feel pain. I spent my life taking care of them and I keep doing it in any way I can. 

But I feel it too. And thinking to measure pain simply comparing people’s lives is really wrong.

What I know is that every time I’m happy, something has to happen and destroy it. It has always been like this.

It’s like a cycle. An endless one.

Every time I’m truly happy I’m so scared because I know that it doesn’t matter what I do… darkness never fails to get me.

And it’s so painful.

It’s so painful living with the fear of being happy.

I don’t even remember what it is.

How? 

How can I forget what happiness is?

Well… when despair takes your entire mind… your brain won’t allow you to remember it.

And what I know is that I would pay to sleep… and sleep.. also for years… and to wake up only when good things would (hopefully) happen and the pain will end.

I’m not a warrior anymore. I’m really tired.

Nobody deserves to live in a haunted maze.